"it" just moved
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
