Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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