I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
