It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
