Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
