Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
