nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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