I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
