Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize