I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
