never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
