Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
