Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high