you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
