the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
