She said her name was "party"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
