I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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