Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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