This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
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If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You can't just leave with hair like that
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I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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