I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
