I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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