i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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