I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
