Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
