can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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