btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize