then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
