the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I understand Curling. That high.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
