my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
