I didn't shave. On purpose
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
