I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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