well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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