Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
