Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
