this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
