Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
