Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
