I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
