i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i think my cat just said my name.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
