What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
