My sheets look like a crime scene.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
