i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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