really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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