a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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