worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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