just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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