i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
