The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
