I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
