I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
