Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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