3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think your dad took our porno
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
