guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
