Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
